


No Ramen, No Life

by Happy_Ocelot



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Ichiraku Ramen (Naruto), NaruHina in the last chapter, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Ocelot/pseuds/Happy_Ocelot
Summary: A ramen shop owner's random act of kindness gave birth to one Uzumaki Naruto's addiction to ramen. It was up to everyone else to deal with the aftermath.
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto/Ramen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	1. The Beginning

The blistering winter wind swept through the village of Konoha, giving the denizens currently indoors desperate relief at not being stuck outside, and making the denizens outdoors shiver in their boots, causing them to clutch their scarves just a little tighter and walk just a little faster. The temperature had plunged into the negatives a few weeks ago, as the Land of Fire received the boatloads of snow usually reserved for the Land of Iron.

It was the sort of weather that made a bowl of hot miso ramen a hundred times more flavorful and delicious, thought Teuchi, the proprietor of Ichiraku Ramen, as he was cleaning up for the night. The snowfall brought him a windfall of cash as dozens of hardy shinobi crowded his humble eatery, shouting orders for shoyu ramen with negi and shio ramen with wakame, keeping his nimble hands busy until the closing time, which was just half an hour ago.

He was just about to turn off the lights and head home when he saw _that kid_ again. The kid with sunshine-bright hair and odd-looking whisker marks on his cheeks. He looked younger than Teuchi's own little Ayame. For the umpteenth time, Teuchi wondered where his parents were and why they saw fit to leave a small child unsupervised long past sunset.

Teuchi felt a pang of concern as he saw the boy curled up into a ball, shooting him furtive looks out of the corner of his eye. The boy might have been an orphan. The Third Shinobi War and the Kyuubi attack certainly created so many of those. He himself was a widower, his wife having been tragically crushed in a stampede as hundreds of villagers fled after hearing the earth-shattering roars of the demon fox.

Teuchi beckoned towards the child. "Hey, kid, would you like some ramen? Miso ramen with chashu and naruto toppings. Come inside."

The boy's eyes widened in shock as he tentatively approached, his movements mimicking those of a skittish animal. But his sky blue eyes sparkled when he saw that piping hot miso chashu and sprightly pink naruto topping.

And thus one man's act of kindness gave birth to a terrifying ramen addiction.


	2. Childish Hyperbole?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Third Hokage finds out that Naruto has made a new friend.

"And then, jii-chan, when I grow up, I'm gonna ban all homework, and I'm gonna move your desk over _there_ , and then I'm gonna run up and down the stairs and no one can stop me, and..."

The Third Hokage chuckled at Naruto's animated chatter. He'd been particularly hyper this week, and that was saying something, considering his usual levels of hyperactivity were enough to give Naruto's Anbu minders migraines.

There was more. For some reason, his practical jokes on the townspeople had been somewhat on the decline over the past few days, and Sarutobi had been grateful and relieved that there were only three reports of tie-dyed shopfronts, one store's paint supplies magically vanishing (the paint colors were coincidentally the exact same as those on the tie-dyed shopfronts) and...a toy store's toad-themed memorabilia disappearing? Usually, by Wednesday, there would be six or seven such reports, instead of the mild three that had arrived by this Friday. The Sandaime saw this as progress, no matter how slight, and thanked the heavens for it. And Naruto even fessed up when Sarutobi questioned him and set things right without much complaint. Yes, _progress_.

He was brought back to reality with the words, "And I'm gonna make Old Man Teuchi move in with me and make me ramen every day of every week of every month of every year!"

Huh?

"I beg your pardon, Naruto, but who is Teuchi?" Sarutobi asked.

"He's the owner of Ichiraku Ramen. Jii-chan, have you tried his miso ramen? It's great, ya know. Oh, and so is his tonkotsu ramen, and his onomichi ramen, and his curry ramen, and..."

The puzzle pieces clicked neatly into place...the hyperactivity, the lack of pranks...Naruto must have been spending time with this Teuchi person and wolfing down noodles.

Well, that was a welcome, if very unexpected development. The Sandaime was positive that _everyone_ in the village hated Naruto and acted like hell would freeze over if they went near him. He'd been the buffer between Naruto and the rest of the townspeople for...well, since the child was a toddler. Not even the orphanage would accept the "demon fox brat" and he'd been forced to use his Anbu as the de facto caretakers for the child, and Naruto had been living in his own apartment since the age of five. Even grocery shopping was a massive problem for Naruto. It had, once again, been handled by the Anbu, who'd also been cooking the meals because five-year-old Naruto around stove-tops and knives filled Sarutobi with dread.

And now Naruto was telling him that someone in the village liked him enough to feed him? As he looked at Naruto's radiant smile, he truly felt grateful to Teuchi of Ichiraku Ramen from the bottom of his heart.

Sarutobi naively thought that Naruto's comment about eating ramen "every day of every week of every month of every year" was just a childish hyperbole and didn't question it further.

He really, really should have. It wasn't hyperbole, as he would find out much later.


	3. New Team Jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi is disturbed. Sasuke and Sakura are irritated.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing and they'd just successfully completed another D-rank mission and had collected the pay. The mission wasn't even that bad this time. It involved showing some rich old lady around town and of course, Naruto had eagerly dragged her and the rest of his team off to Ichiraku Ramen. The nice old lady had patted his head, given him some candy and called him a good boy, simultaneously pleasing and flustering Naruto. He wasn't used to that kind of doting behavior and lapped it up like a surprised and embarrassed puppy.

And Kakashi-sensei was taking them off on a picnic since they'd wrapped up the mission nicely! Yeah, this was a pretty good day, so he had no idea why Sakura-chan and Sasuke were giving him those really weird looks. Kakashi-sensei wasn't paying attention to this at all, though, and was just lounging around on the picnic blanket reading Icha Icha whatever.

Naruto gave his teammates a confused look as he reached for the tea kettle for the ninth time, pouring the hot water into his ninth cup of noodles. Oh, wait, did they want some too? Was that why they were glaring at him?

He plastered a beaming smile onto his face and said, "Sakura-chan, you want noodles too? We can share this cup after the three minute wait is over..."

Surprisingly, Sakura-chan jumped up. "Sensei, sensei, please. Make Naruto stop."

Stop...what?

Sasuke grunted in agreement. "It's...not normal, what you're doing. Usuratonkachi, we _just_ went to Ichiraku and you're eating more ramen instead of the onigiri."

Kakashi-sensei finally looked up from his boring novel. His eye crinkled at Naruto as he smiled.

"They're right, you know," he said. "Naruto, your bento box is untouched. Finish that up, and _then_ have some ramen if you're still hungry."

Naruto shrugged. That just meant that he needed to think of the bento as an obstacle course that he needed to clear so that he could eat more ramen, then. He would finish it off in the three minutes it took for the ramen to cook! That was a challenge worthy of the future Hokage!

Naruto then proceeded to cram all of the food in the bento into his mouth and polished it off in two minutes and forty-three seconds. Yeah, he finished _ahead_ of time.

As he went back to the ninth cup of ramen and counting, he remained totally oblivious to Kakashi-sensei's mildly perturbed expression, or his teammates gathering their sensei in a huddle.

"It's deeply unhealthy. The idiot's gonna eat too much ramen and explode," Sasuke warned in a low voice.

"Now, Sasuke, don't you think that's a bit dramatic?" asked Kakashi. He was still convinced that this day was just an aberration and not _normal_ for Naruto. "Naruto's probably just hungry from a long day..."

"It's not dramatic, it's true, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura retorted. "He eats it every day. I have no idea what he's doing to maintain that slim figure. And didn't you listen to his genin team introduction where he basically said as much?"

Why yes, Kakashi did remember that Naruto's favorite thing in the world was ramen, that he disliked the three minutes it took for the ramen to cook and that he loved it when Iruka-sensei took him out to eat ramen. But seriously...

"There's no way he would eat ramen _every_ day."

"He does! You don't know him as well as we do, sensei. We were his classmates. We _know_."

"Well, just hold on a sec, I'll ask him right now. I'm sure he'll be telling a different story." His students were such silly little ducklings. Kakashi turned in Naruto's direction.

"Yo, Naruto, what did you have for breakfast today?"

"Shio ramen," he said cheerfully.

Okay, that was most likely just a coincidence...right?

"You had ramen for breakfast _and_ lunch?"

"Yeah!"

"What about dinner?"

Naruto grinned like a little kid in a candy shop. Or maybe a ramen shop.

"I'll go back to Ichiraku's for dinner. They have a jumbo bowl special tonight. _Duh_ , Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi told himself to calm down. Naruto was just on a ramen kick today, right?

"What about yesterday? And tomorrow?"

At the end of the interrogation, Kakashi was equal parts deeply concerned and deeply impressed at Naruto's...dedication. He seemed to consider having different flavors of ramen as entirely different meals.

Kakashi was getting vivid flashbacks of the time when Kushina-san had led their team on a mission one day, when Minato-sensei had been requested by someone else. It had been Rin's birthday that day, and Kushina-san somehow caught hold of some unfortunate baker and asked him to make a ramen-flavored cake. Obito loved the cake. Kakashi took one bite and ran away to some bushes so that he could throw up in peace. He deeply loved and respected Kushina-san from the bottom of his heart. But she was a few nuts short of being a complete fruitcake.

And now, it seemed as though her son had taken it one step further and truly _was_ a complete fruitcake.

It was just…

Kakashi had to speak to Sandaime-sama about this behavior before it got out of hand. _Quickly._

* * *

Kakashi knocked on the Hokage's office door at six in the evening. It was time for his monthly update on his genin team. It was his first update ever, and the usually calm and collected Copy Ninja was feeling, to his surprise, a tinge of nervousness.

"Come in," said the aged Hokage's gravelly voice. The venerable village leader smiled kindly at Kakashi as the smell of tobacco smoke assaulted his nostrils. A huge stack of paperwork sat by his right hand, waiting for his stamp of approval. The window provided a gorgeous view of the scarlet and orange sunset sky. The orange kind of reminded him of Naruto's clothes. Kakashi shook the stray thought away as he took in the mesmerizing site, and he pondered the new information he'd received that day.

The Hokage had been Naruto's guardian since he was a baby, and he was unconcerned about Naruto's ramen-philia? If that was the case, it seemed very clear to Kakashi that the Sandaime did not fully know or understand the depth of Naruto's addiction to ramen. Okay, there were worse things a kid could be addicted to, but it still wasn't healthy for a growing ninja to only consume massive quantities of one food and very little else.

Kakashi took a deep breath. He could break this in slowly.

"Hokage-sama, Team 7 is making extraordinary progress. Sakura is a bit lacking in practical learning, but she's making up for it fast and her chakra control is superb for a genin. Sasuke is as prodigious as ever, and his teamwork skills are slowly but steadily improving. And Naruto..." he trailed off.

"Yes?" prompted the old Hokage.

"He's also making great progress, but uh...Hokage-sama, he kind of has a big problem..."

"Kind of has a big problem?"

"He's obsessed with noodles," Kakashi said in a deadpan voice, clearly not understanding how ridiculous he sounded.

Sarutobi stared at him incredulously for a blink, then burst out laughing.

"It's not a laughing matter, Hokage-sama. He ate fifteen cups of noodles today after we left a noodle restaurant. That's not normal," Kakashi tried to reason. Maybe if he explained slowly and clearly, Sarutobi would get it.

"I see that you're getting new team jitters, Kakashi," he said.

"New team jitters?"

"Yes," said Sarutobi in a matter-of-fact voice. "Kakashi, all jounin-sensei feel a certain level of anxiety about their new charges and about trivial things. Most went through this phase years ago, but seeing as this is your first genin team, you must be a late bloomer."

"I don't have jitters, Hokage-sama," he protested.

Sarutobi stared at Kakashi wryly. "If you're this concerned about Naruto's diet, then perhaps you could give him a push in the right direction."

"Right direction?"

"Yes, Kakashi. Introduce him to fruits and vegetables."

Oh, right. Why hadn't Kakashi thought of that? It was so obvious in hindsight. Maybe he _was_ getting new team jitters. It wasn't like Naruto was the first genin with strange eating habits, and it wasn't that big of a deal, right? He was getting as scatterbrained as Guy lately. Kakashi could deal with this.

...And that was how he found himself sitting leisurely at Naruto's window at eight in the morning, clutching a basket of vegetables.

Of course Naruto was chowing down on an extremely nutritious breakfast of ramen. Again. They'd gone through this three times in the past week already.

"I hate vegetables, sensei," Naruto grumbled.

"Now, now," Kakashi chided. "Vegetables are extremely youthful and good for the soul." Damn it, he was starting to sound like Guy again.

"No, they aren't! That vegetable lady down the street is evil and bad for the soul!" Naruto said.

"The vegetable lady might be, but the vegetables themselves aren't, Naruto."

"She threw rotten eggplants at me and that's why I hate vegetables."

Kakashi ignored him. If Naruto was going to be a mule, then so would he.

"Open up, Naruto," he said sweetly, menacingly brandishing a carrot. Naruto turned pale.


	4. Ramen-chan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya discovers that Naruto may or may not have a secret girlfriend.

"Mmmm."

Jiraiya paused, his hand on the doorknob.

"It's so good to see you again...I missed you so much," said a dreamy voice beyond the door.

Jiraiya's inner romantic squealed in delight. Could it be...that Naruto had...a secret girlfriend!?

"Ramen-chan…."

He slammed his fist against his head. What was he thinking? Of course Naruto didn't have a girlfriend. The sixteen-year-old Naruto's obsessions were solely based around training to become Hokage, rescuing Sasuke from Orochimaru and...Ramen-chan.

It wasn't like Jiraiya didn't know that Naruto loved ramen. He'd seen Naruto downing a bowl of the stuff when he'd gone to pick him up so that they could find Tsunade. Kakashi had given him due warnings and recommended the use of force to feed him something healthier. But the talking to cups of noodles thing was new, even for him.

Jiraiya should never have taught him how to use storage scrolls. He'd thought that Naruto would use the scrolls to store weapons and other necessary items. Yeah, he was stupid to think that. Instead, Naruto had scampered into the market of the next town they were staying in and bought about ninety cups of noodles (in case he ever went noodle-less if they were in a remote area), then crammed the cup noodle packages into three separate scrolls named "breakfast," "lunch" and "dinner." Jiraiya didn't know why he'd needed to distinguish the scrolls when they all carried the same thing, but Naruto had treated him to a lecture about how breakfast should be a light ramen to kick-start the morning and dinner should be a heavy ramen after a long day of training. Lunch would be variable, depending on his mood and the rigor of the training.

Jiraiya entered the hotel room. The floor was littered with cup noodle wrapping. The...actually delicious smell of miso wafted into his nostrils.

Oh, who cared? Jiraiya supposed that ramen was a better option than food pills, which was what _his_ idea of travel rations had been. And Naruto's gem of a lecture about breakfast ramen, lunch ramen and dinner ramen was pretty good material for his Icha Icha novel. He'd been working in the little gold nuggets that spilled from Naruto's mouth into the rough draft for a while now. Yes, the protagonist of the new Icha Icha, Wakame, and his quest to become the world's greatest ramen chef alongside his one true love, Nori. That was the child-friendly summary of the potential sequel of Icha Icha Tactics, anyway.

And so, the Legendary Toad Sage of Konoha did absolutely nothing to stop Naruto's ramen obsession.


	5. Naruto's Secret Diet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ino tries to discover the secret behind Naruto's figure and Team 10 gets more than they bargained for.

Naruto was at Training Ground 3 with Sai, Sakura and Captain Yamato. They were practicing taijutsu, and Team 10 had stopped by to say hi as they had no missions and wanted to kill some time.

Well, Shikamaru and Chouji said hi. Ino was squinting determinedly at Naruto's midriff.

"Ino," grumbled Shikamaru. "Stop staring at Naruto's stomach."

Ino totally ignored Shikamaru. Naruto had come back from his three-year trip with Jiraiya-sama just two months ago. While he'd grown longer hair, become taller, stronger and swapped in his blue-and-orange outfit for a black-and-orange one, one thing about him hadn't changed at all. His stomach.

She had heard from Sakura, who had heard from Kakashi-sensei, who had heard from Jiraiya-sama, that Naruto used to pack weeks' worth of ramen into storage scrolls on the training trip, and that he would proceed to eat the stuff for days at a time when they were journeying and no town was in sight.

And yet...his stomach was still looking toned and flat. Ino glanced at Chouji next to her, took in his "big-boned" frame, and then went back to staring at Naruto. What the hell? There was no way he could maintain that kind of figure while eating only ramen. It made no sense. He was definitely taking some potion or tonic.

She _would_ get to the bottom of this. And once she found out, she would definitely get hold of Naruto's dieting secret. There were so many beautiful dresses at the clothing store that she'd had her eye on and they were a bit too small for her, and if she discovered how Naruto was pulling it off...

* * *

"Remind me again, why are we going to Naruto's house in the middle of the night?" asked Shikamaru.

"And are you sure that he's really okay with this?" asked Chouji. "I don't think he'd love people visiting at odd hours."

"And how do you even know where he lives?" It was Shikamaru again.

"Firstly, we're going now because Sakura said he'd be up late because they have no missions tomorrow and this is the best time to catch him. Secondly, you guys know that Naruto loves it when his friends visit. And thirdly, I got his address from Asuma-sensei's nephew," Ino said, without pausing to take a breath.

Her brisk walk left the two boys struggling to catch up.

Ino had been acting weird since the afternoon, when they'd gone to hang out with Team 7. With the weird glances she'd been throwing at Naruto's belly, and then the glances at Chouji's belly, before going back to Naruto's belly...Shikamaru had a pretty good idea where this was heading. Whenever Ino got some idea into her head, there was no talking her out of it and Shikamaru usually ended up getting roped into something unnecessarily troublesome. Like now, when he'd usually be in bed, sound asleep, but was being dragged around in the middle of the night to help Ino solve the mystery of Naruto's slim figure. She'd been emphatic that Shikamaru and Chouji _had_ to come with her because there was no challenge that Ino-Shika-Cho couldn't solve together.

He sighed. Why couldn't it wait until morning? He _really_ wanted to sleep.

Great, they were already at Naruto's doorstep. Ino eagerly knocked on the door. There was a yelping sound and something went crashing to the floor.

So Ino forgot to tell him that they were coming over. Oh, this was going to end well.

The door swung open and Naruto stood in front of them. His blonde hair was uncombed, his eyes were droopy, and his orange T-shirt had a brand-new stain.

"Oh, it's you guys. Um, hi?" Naruto looked puzzled.

"Yo, Naruto, what's up?" Chouji asked jovially.

"I'm fine. I was just having dinner when you just knocked and then I spilled it on myself and...oh, I guess you guys can come in –"

"Great, thanks!" No sooner had Naruto uttered those words that Ino charged in like a bull in a china shop after kicking off her sandals. Chouji also charged in because Naruto had mentioned the magic word, "dinner."

Shikamaru gave Naruto an apologetic grimace before ambling inside, slowly removing his footwear.

He looked around appreciatively. Naruto's house wasn't too bad. It was a comfortably-sized apartment suitable for one or two people. Shikamaru looked enviously at the messy living room with random knives, kunai and scrolls scattered all over the couch. There was no way in hell that he would get away doing something like that back at home. His ears would explode from the massive scolding. And he would have long since have finished dinner back at home. _And_ he would have been forced to go to sleep right around now, whether he was actually tired or not. He _was_ tired, but that was beside the point. Living by yourself seemed to have some big perks.

"So, do you guys want dinner?" Naruto asked eagerly, now that the initial shock of unexpected guests had worn off. Hmm, it looked like Ino was right about Naruto and visitors. He didn't even ask why they'd decided to randomly show up at his doorstep at 11 pm.

Chouji, true to form, had eagerly run into the kitchen as soon as Naruto had uttered the word dinner for the second time. Naruto laughed.

"Okay, just wait a second. I need to change and then..." He slunk to his bedroom and latched the door shut.

Surprisingly, Ino also made a beeline for the kitchen.

"Ino, what are you doing? He asked us to wait."

Ino ignored him again. "I _will_ get to the bottom of this," she murmured to herself, opening random drawers and cupboards at a feverish pace.

"Damn it, is this about Naruto's ramen obsession again? Now you want to check his kitchen to confirm his unhealthy diet? Look, Ino, it's not nice to look through other people's stuff – "

Ino ignored him, _again_ , and kept rummaging through the kitchen cupboard, her determined expression shifting, being confronted by stacks and stacks and stacks of cup noodles. Try as she might, her search for special powders or dieting pills seemed to be yielding no fruit. Shikamaru was finding himself unwittingly curious as he peered over Ino's shoulder. Was this seriously all that he ate? Everyone else at least had a mom or dad or annoying big sis to stop them from doing something stupid. Shikamaru mentally slapped himself as he remembered that Naruto _didn't_. His happy-go-lucky, exuberant persona was enough to make Shikamaru forget that being an orphan was actually rough and not all about late bedtimes and midnight snacking with no one to tell him to stop.

His concern for Naruto mounted as he took in the sheer extent of his diet's unhealthiness. Seriously, what was Jiraiya-sama doing for three years? Couldn't he have knocked the addiction out of Naruto?

Meanwhile, Ino had undergone an inexplicable behavioral change. She slowly began to falter. She glanced at the cupboards, then back to the living room. Naruto was taking a _long_ time to change.

A peculiar expression flitted across her face. It no longer looked like she was interested in discovering Naruto's dieting secret. Her expression was fading to –

"All right, I'm back! Who's ready for dinner?" Naruto had returned wearing an orange T-shirt identical to the one he'd just replaced along with a cheery smile.

"Yeah!" Chouji cheered.

"Okay, everyone, you want miso ramen or shoyu ramen?" Naruto asked.

"Both!"

"No!"

Naruto looked quizzically at Ino and Chouji's simultaneous outbursts.

Ino cleared her throat. She was looking at Naruto very strangely, almost solemnly. Shikamaru was so shocked by the lack of anger and frustration about her search being ineffective that he couldn't place the expression any further before she spoke.

"Naruto, do you have anything else besides ramen?"

Naruto's left hand flew to the back of his head.

"Umm...the truth is, I haven't been grocery shopping in a while...so...um...no?" He faltered, eyeing Ino's inscrutable expression with trepidation.

Ino glanced back at the messy living room, then into the kitchen cupboard, which was filled with stacks and stacks of ramen cups. Her eyes seemed...misty.

What?

Before Shikamaru could make sense of what was going on, Ino had suddenly surged forward and seized a flabbergasted Naruto in a bone-crushing hug.

The realization came crashing onto Shikamaru's head like thunder. Ino had reached the same conclusions as he had. This investigation had gone from dieting to something else entirely.

Ino wasn't angry at not discovering Naruto's dieting secret. She felt bad for him.

Shikamaru glanced back at the living room, with no one home to tell Naruto to put the sharp objects away, and at his visibly tired countenance with bloodshot and droopy eyes, with no one to tell him to go to sleep because it was late and he needed his rest.

Naruto was around his friends and well-wishers all day. There were people like Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamato and the Rookie Nine and Team Guy to cheer him on and lend him a hand when he was feeling lost. But nighttime was clearly a different story.

In the end, Ino was unable to crack open the mystery of Naruto's lack of...big-bonedness, but she did make it a point to drag him to Yakiniku Q every few days.


	6. Youthful Eating Contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee proposes an eating contest. It doesn't end well...

"No, Guy, stop! No!"

"Why, Kakashi? This is a great opportunity to test our students' hot-bloodedness!"

"You don't get it!" Kakashi yelled, his one visible eye staring at Guy in horror. "Naruto has a bottomless stomach when it comes to ramen."

Just another day in the eternal rivalry between Kakashi and Guy. It had been Guy's idea to merge their respective teams together for some practice sparring matches. Neji and Lee could give Naruto and Sai some tips on improving the fluidity of their taijutsu movements, and they could give Neji some ninjutsu advice; due to his specialization in the Hyuuga clan's Gentle Fist taijutsu, Guy-sensei often worried that his ninjutsu was being neglected. Naruto and Sai were asked by an overenthusiastic Lee to go all-out with their best ninjutsu so that his stamina could be improved. Tenten got some much-needed taijutsu and close-range ninjutsu practice with a team other than her own as well; Guy-sensei also worried that Tenten's reliance on long-range weapons might weaken her close-combat abilities and insisted that sparring with the members of Team 7 might close the gaps in these potential weaknesses. Meanwhile, Sakura, along with sparring with everyone else, could also try to impart some lessons to the others about perfect chakra control and how to dispel genjutsu, and give them opportunities to practice their evasion skills as she swung around her killer right hook.

That was Guy's reasoning for holding the joint team exercise and Kakashi happily agreed. It was a very successful training session and they had just wound up.

Then came Lee's insane idea of a joint team ramen eating contest and Guy _agreed_ with him and Kakashi felt his stomach dissolve into a molten pit of dread when he heard the words "ramen" and "eating contest" and "winning team's sensei pays for everyone's ramen." For once, Kakashi felt no need to win this round of their eternal rivalry and clutched his wallet protectively, swearing to it that he would protect it from the mass depletion that this ill-advised eating contest would undoubtedly cause, and with force, if necessary.

In vain did he suggest sensible match-ups which would lessen the strain on his wallet. But Neji vs. Sakura and Tenten vs. Sai were decisively vetoed with horror by the Team Guy members themselves.

Neji's ghost-white eyes bored a hole into Guy, who had dropped the idea in chagrin and disappointment after being subjected to a vehement refusal, muttering about unyouthful students.

Tenten just ran away when her name was brought up, yelling over her shoulder about needing to go for her doctor's appointment. Guy muttered some more about needing to impress youthfulness on his students.

"That leaves...Naruto and Lee!" Guy flashed his pearly whites at Naruto, who smiled right back. Lee joined in on the smile-fest, adding in some whooping and hollering for good measure.

Kakashi's horror-struck mind conjured images of Naruto demolishing bowl after bowl. Then it conjured images of Lee demolishing bowl after bowl in a ferocious attempt to catch up with Naruto. Then a final image popped into his mind of Naruto speeding up when Lee actually caught up and the tower of empty bowls they would together create.

Was this what Asuma used to feel when he would treat his team? The world was spinning and going black.

"Kakashi-sensei? What's wrong? You look like – Kakashi-sensei!"

He fainted.

Kakashi woke up in a hospital room, surrounded by his worried students, Team Guy and Shizune. Despite the less than ideal hospital visit that wasn't even for Sharingan-overuse, Kakashi was happy. He looked at his wallet in relief. Crisis averted.


	7. Naruto's Ramen Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's only one person in the world who can out-eat Naruto.

Naruto felt punch-drunk. His giddy elation only intensified as he spotted her. Hinata's gorgeous hair gleamed in the sunlight. He wasn't able to figure out if it was midnight-blue or ebony-black today. He'd long ago noticed that it changed color in the light and it had become a fun guessing game for him to figure out which lovely shade his eyes would get the pleasure of seeing on any given day. He wasn't picky about which, because all of them were awesome. Her bangs were always accentuating her white eyes and kind smile. She was dressed simply, but elegantly in a light pink long-sleeved shirt and a white skirt.

He broke out of his thoughts. Whoa, he was sounding way too much like the protagonist Wakame of Ero-sennin's book, Icha Icha whatever, as he rhapsodized about his one true love, Nori. Even though that book had been about a master ramen chef, Naruto had never been able to get too much into it, as Ero-sennin, in true Ero-sennin fashion, had preferred to focus on rather explicit descriptions of Wakame and Nori's _one true love_ instead of mouth-watering descriptions of ramen that Naruto would have preferred reading. There were only a few parts of the book he had truly enjoyed, and one included a rant about breakfast ramen, lunch ramen and dinner ramen that sounded like it had come out of Naruto's own mouth. He frowned. Didn't he say something like that before? He shook his head.

Gah! Why did his thoughts always go haywire whenever Hinata was around!?

She smiled with the radiance of a thousand suns when he saw him approach. Once again, Naruto ordered his mind to cut it out with the flowery descriptions.

"Good morning, Hinata! What's up?" he called out, jogging towards her.

"Oh, Naruto-kun," she beamed. "We just came back from a mission to escort a group of nin-ken from Kiri to Konoha and Kiba-kun was over the moon about meeting dogs from other villages. Akamaru was jealous the whole time."

Apparently, Akamaru had started a hilarious contest with the Kiri nin-ken to prove that he was the alpha. Kiba's pleas for calm had been to no avail and in the end, it was Shino who broke up the fight by restraining both parties with a swarm of beetles.

They set off together. Hinata's whole frame shook with laughter as she narrated Team 8's mission gone horribly off-track and before he knew it, they reached their destination. Naruto pulled back the curtain for Hinata as the delicious aroma of ramen soothed his mind and heart. It was funny how ramen had the power to induce both giddiness and a sense of peace in Naruto. Hinata created the exact same feelings in him, a fact that he had only realized a few weeks ago.

There was another feeling that stirred his heart when he was around Hinata, and that was awe. He was about to get a repeat performance of their first-ever date to Ichiraku.

He couldn't bring himself to care that his Gama-chan wallet was going to get flattened, as it had been whenever he and Hinata had visited Ichiraku. Hinata smiled graciously at Teuchi and ordered every single item on the menu. So did Naruto.

Their ramen eating contest would begin in five...four...three...two. They both began slurping at speeds that would have given Kakashi-sensei a heart attack, like that time when Uber Brows-sensei had suggested an eating contest between and Lee and himself.

Naruto just couldn't keep up. He began to feel sick as he reached the thirty-second bowl while Hinata was already charging ahead to bowl thirty-five. He collapsed one bowl later and Hinata emerged as the victor, again.

He'd finally found someone who shared his ninja way _and_ ramen way.

_No Ramen, No Life._


End file.
